I've been struggling with this for some time now, of course I have told some users that I've cut myself in the past and I've recently done other things to harm myself. I've always had trouble with getting up every day, keep pushing myself with hopes that it will get better.
After attempts to hang out with various "friends" and they all tell me why they can't hang out with me but then go and have a good time with other people its starting to get me. One girl said she didn't like people over house then two days later she made a funny post about what happened when someone came over to her house. The same girl said she don't like doing anything then made a post that she was going out. Now I did try this before when she made this post and she told me before that she wasn't feeling good but then made a posteoporosis about going out.
Then I was told maybe she's not ready to hang out with me. Ok then she's ok with hanging out a boy she barely knows in the pitch of night in a parking lot but not me who she's known for almost 2 years? It makes me feel like a monster, making me feel like I'm worthless and not worth anyones time. Everyday looking ahead it's hard to move forward and the call of death looks more promising.
I mean people know I've cut myself, family, therapists, have any of hem checked in on me? Nope, so who's to say if I killed myself I would be missed by anyone?