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 Post subject: Me Personally
PostPosted: July 25th, 2016, 12:26 am 
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I've been struggling with this for some time now, of course I have told some users that I've cut myself in the past and I've recently done other things to harm myself. I've always had trouble with getting up every day, keep pushing myself with hopes that it will get better.

After attempts to hang out with various "friends" and they all tell me why they can't hang out with me but then go and have a good time with other people its starting to get me. One girl said she didn't like people over house then two days later she made a funny post about what happened when someone came over to her house. The same girl said she don't like doing anything then made a post that she was going out. Now I did try this before when she made this post and she told me before that she wasn't feeling good but then made a posteoporosis about going out.

Then I was told maybe she's not ready to hang out with me. Ok then she's ok with hanging out a boy she barely knows in the pitch of night in a parking lot but not me who she's known for almost 2 years? It makes me feel like a monster, making me feel like I'm worthless and not worth anyones time. Everyday looking ahead it's hard to move forward and the call of death looks more promising.

I mean people know I've cut myself, family, therapists, have any of hem checked in on me? Nope, so who's to say if I killed myself I would be missed by anyone? :cry: :cry:


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 Post subject: Re: Me Personally
PostPosted: July 25th, 2016, 12:44 am 
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TheDoctor wrote:
I've been struggling with this for some time now, of course I have told some users that I've cut myself in the past and I've recently done other things to harm myself. I've always had trouble with getting up every day, keep pushing myself with hopes that it will get better.

After attempts to hang out with various "friends" and they all tell me why they can't hang out with me but then go and have a good time with other people its starting to get me. One girl said she didn't like people over house then two days later she made a funny post about what happened when someone came over to her house. The same girl said she don't like doing anything then made a post that she was going out. Now I did try this before when she made this post and she told me before that she wasn't feeling good but then made a posteoporosis about going out.

Then I was told maybe she's not ready to hang out with me. Ok then she's ok with hanging out a boy she barely knows in the pitch of night in a parking lot but not me who she's known for almost 2 years? It makes me feel like a monster, making me feel like I'm worthless and not worth anyones time. Everyday looking ahead it's hard to move forward and the call of death looks more promising.

I mean people know I've cut myself, family, therapists, have any of hem checked in on me? Nope, so who's to say if I killed myself I would be missed by anyone? :cry: :cry:


Hey, honestly if you need someone to talk to please message me. You have no idea how not alone you are on this. I've been there myself and came out the other side. Please, listen from someone who's been there give me a message. And again your not alone.

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 Post subject: Re: Me Personally
PostPosted: July 26th, 2016, 9:26 pm 
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"I mean people know I've cut myself, family, therapists, have any of hem checked in on me? Nope"

Take this from personal experience: people aren't going to 'check in' if they don't know you're hurting. Hard as it may be to hear, everyone's got their own shit to work on. Which is not to say they won't be there for you if you need them, but you have to let them know. Like, if they know you've cut yourself, do they know how bad? How often? How often you've thought about it, or about killing yourself? When you tell them, do you downplay it, try not to make it a big thing? I'm not trying to criticize how you're reaching out for help, cause it sounds like you are, but (again, taken from personal experience), you really have to communicate just how much pain you're in for people to understand. Sure, there will be people who can't or won't respond the way you need them to, but that's not everyone--I don't know what your support system is like, but there are definitely resources if you seek them out.


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 Post subject: Re: Me Personally
PostPosted: July 28th, 2016, 2:35 pm 
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i was doing shitty, like really shitty, shitty to the point of complimenting killing myself but boy, oh boy have i had the BEST FUCKIN DAY of my life!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D


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 Post subject: Re: Me Personally
PostPosted: July 28th, 2016, 3:16 pm 
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That's amazing to hear, keep the good times rolling :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: Me Personally
PostPosted: August 9th, 2016, 2:26 am 
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Turns out that joy was short lived. I can't figure out why when I try to talk to someone who says they have no time and get no response for days or weeks. Then another person contacts them and gets a response that day. It makes me feel like i am the monster everyone thinks i am and i try not to be, makes me feel worthless, like...you know who cares anymore. Honestly why the fuck should i care anymore? HA HA HA HA HA!! Maybe i should go crazy and go and be the crazed monster. HA HA HA HA!! Maybe I should just fucking lose it HA HA HA HA!!


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